ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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