Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
