Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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