just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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