she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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