Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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