Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize