this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
