yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
