I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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