Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize