well you can't waste a boner
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
