I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
