so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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