You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
