question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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