We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
