Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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