I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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