2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
