you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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