i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
