My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
