It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
