6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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