The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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