Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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