that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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