How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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