Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
