Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
