dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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