so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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