Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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