He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize