I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
