she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
