I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
