i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
