im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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