At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
