So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
