I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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