Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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