I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
