I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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