If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
