I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
