I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
