But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
