My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
