You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
