I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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